Which is like Star Wars, only without the heavy reliance on special effects, and the dialogue is slightly less crap. Yes, this Wednesday coming (the 3rd) I'll be down in Greenwich, doing battle with Mark 'Buster' Billingham -- two men, two beards (well, one and a half beards, I mean his doesn't even have any sidey bits, does it? Look at it! What kind of a beard is that?) and a room full of wine and canapés.
Actually I have no idea if there'll be canapés this time, or wine, but I hope if I say it often enough it'll come true. I think it works much in the same way as 'clap your hands if you believe in fairies: or Tinkerbell will die!' Only without all the drugged out weirdness that usually comes before that bit. So: canapés, canapés, canapés, canapés, canapés, wine, wine, wine, wine, wine... That should do it.
Right, so get thee hence to Ottakars, 51 Greenwich Church Street, Greenwich, London, SE10 9BL at 19:00! And remember to wear your DIY beard kits, just in case things get violent. I want to know who's on my side. We will fight them in the cookery section, we will fight them in the coffee shop, we will fight them in that wee corner where they put all the dirty books and people pretend not to look at as they wander past for the fourth time, and we shall never surrender!
Unless there are more of them, and they're bigger than us. Then we run away and claim the moral high ground.