Blurble, blurble...

As a write-ist one is expected to give, and request blurbs. I can now say that I’m equally uncomfortable doing both. In giving a blurb there’s the whole competitive thing: only the best blurbs will make it onto the book jacket. And then there’s the whole reputation thing: recommend a crap book, and people are going to start looking at your own work in the same light. “If he thinks this piece of garbage is ‘gripping and trilling’ then he must write utter bollocks!”

So far I’ve only given one blurb – for Mr James T Winter’s SECOND HAND GOODS. My words are on his website for all to see:

"Double-crossing dames, Russian gangsters, corrupt cops and a hard-drinking PI with a thing for the ladies - Jim Winter drags the classic PI novel screaming up to date." - Stuart MacBride, author of Cold Granite

I gave Jim a couple of options, including my favourite: “Violent, slick and classy – Jim Winter’s not as daft as he looks.” But he didn’t like that one for some reason.

That’s giving blurbs, on the other side of the coin is asking for the damn things. I know Jim didn’t have any difficulty doing that – hell, cheeky bugger didn’t even read COLD GRANITE before asking me to provide pimpage for his book. Which means he might be in for a nasty shock if he ever does get round to it and finds out what he’s just associated himself with. Bwahahahahahaha!

But I’m not Jim. I’ve recently had to ask for my first ever blurb and I was so bloody embarrassed to be putting someone in that position. Seriously squirming. In asking I must have left them about a dozen ‘get out of blurbing free’ cards. You know, like some spotty teenager asking a girl out for the first time. “...If you’re not doing anything Saturday... you probably are... yea... no, it wasn’t important... forget I said anything...”

I won’t say who it was, in case they decide not to touch it with a shitty stick. They’d be all embarrassed that people knew. And the hate mail... you guys would send them hate mail, right? For me? ;}#