Or maybe not...

I've been getting emails from people saying that SAWBONES is more difficult to get hold of than a greasy weasel's wedding tackle when it's dark and you're only wearing a rubber French maid's outfit.

OK, so only one person claimed to be wearing a rubber French maid's outfit at the time (and didn't explain WHY they wanted to clutch the aforementioned weasel's unmentionables, or how it had got all greasy in the first place), but we're nothing if not inclusive here at Casa Del Halflead. I myself have a rubbery cover on my iPod, so who am I to cast aspersions on anyone wanting to get done up as a wipe-clean domestic?

Anyway, the gist is that Amazon is now saying it's out of stock and some bookshops are saying the publication date's been put back. I know that last one's not true, because I've seen it for sale in my local Waterstones. So it does exist - I've not just been making this whole thing up...

Honest.

I've emailed the publishers so hopefully I'll have some sort of clue what's going on soon. And if it's in any way interesting (or it gets me out of having to think up a proper post) I'll stick it up here.

In the meantime, how come I can't buy a decent smartphone, or take-home sushi? I went into town yesterday with the express purpose of coming back with both. And managed neither. No one wants to sell me a smartphone unless I want three million minutes of talk time and half a gazillion texts per month, and am prepared to pay the GDP of a small South American country for the privilege. Right now I go through about £20.00 of air time in two and a half months. WHY would I possibly suddenly need to send a gazillion text messages? And yes, fine, it does internet connection stuff, but you know what? I have that there interweb stuff at home. Where I spend about 90% of my time. If I want to check my email, I'll go through to the study, thank you very much. The only time I'd actually need access through any sort of phone-flavoured thing would be when I'm away. And as that only happens once or twice a year, I'm not prepared to mortgage my cat to pay for it. That would be profligate and naughty. And possibly a bit illegal -- I've got no idea what the banking code says about cat-related collateral, but I guess they wouldn't be too happy about the kind of deposit she'd make.

And the sushi situation wasn't much better. Chef Jang -- who has a little stall in the market by the green -- was on holiday, so we couldn't get any sushi to take home with us. Boo! Hiss! People should not be taking holidays when I have a yen for raw fish and sticky rice! That's not supposed to be the way the world works.

I bet Brad Pitt never has these problems.

Goddamnit!

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