Lumps

Have you ever noticed that 'Lumps' is not a nice word? It denotes unpleasant things. It's not good to have lumps in things: Custard (an irritation), Gravy (not the end of the world), Burps (not nice), Farts (even worse), Breasts and* / or Testicles (least pleasant of all).

'Chunks' are not so bad. Yes, it can mean the less than pleasant contents of a belch, but mostly it's available for non-pejorative use. Such as 'A chunky vegetable soup', or to describe the lovely melty bits of lamb you get in a pot of fresh Stovies. Mmm, stovies... I'd put a link up to a recipe for them, but I couldn't find one that was the same as the way I do it. That makes them WRONG!

I take my responsibilities as a fearless former of public opinion** seriously. If I'm going to lead you down the path of stovie-like goodness, it must be in the correct footwear. Or you'll all get blisters. Maybe I'll post a recipe in the new year. Because I'm that rock-n'-roll. Mayhap I'll even share with you the secrets to the staple of the North East Of Scotland's diet -- no, not 'deep-fried pies' you cheeky simians -- Mince and Tatties.

But I digress. Chunks in stovies: good. Lumps in stovies: bad. 'Lumps' suggests gristle, ovine chewing gum, nasty stuff.

And why am I telling you all this? Because I now have a cough with lumps.

Just thought I should share that with you.

* As an equal opportunities blog, we must think of those of you out there in Ladyboy-Land. Not in a sexual way, in a purely platonic kind of... look, just stop reading the bloody footnotes, OK?
** My fuzzy bum-cheeks.

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