Gouda, gouda, gouda!

Fandabbiedosie!Ah yes, last night was Eurovision night at Casa Del TBFKAGB* and mucho fondue was consumed by all and sundry whilst the very worst Europe had to offer sang, wailed and strutted their oh-so-funkless stuff on the telly. But then that's what large quantities of wine were invented for. And I thought it was great that Serbia won -- not because I liked the song, but because their lead singer looks like the bastard love child of Liza Minnelli and Wee Jimmy Cranky.

But an other, less cheese-related event also took place yesterday: me and Orcadian Bestselling Author Allan 'Action Man' Guthrie traumatising a bunch of poor souls at the Aberdeen Word 07 festival. The really pain in the arse thing about doing an event with Allan is that the bastard knows loads of stuff and can remember it when people ask him questions. So he gives these erudite answers about the origins of 'Noir', while I'm reduced to making jokes about his testicles. Mind you, at least I can say I got 250 people to laugh at Allan Guthrie's bollocks: that's something to be proud of.

And I have to salute the bravery of the people who volunteered for the 'Audience Participation Segment', especially as they didn't know what they were letting themselves in for. Well, I say 'volunteered', but 'press-ganged' is maybe closer to the mark.

From feedback after the event it seems to have gone well. And as such, Mr Guthrie and I may be hauling out our double act for a second shameful outing at the Edinburgh International Book Festival.

Just remember: if you make eye contact you deserve all you get.

* The Brother Formerly Known As Googling Brother -- for some reason he's taken to calling himself that in imitation of diminutive popster Prince.

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