But then I thought: what's the point? Especially as it was about the Most High Grand Arch Thieving Bastard Of Her Majesty's Government AKA the Chancellor of the Exchequer. There I was, having a wonderful dream about killing all humans, when the early morning round up of the papers came on the alarm: Gordon Brown (blessed be his name in the fiery pits of hell that spawned him*) is planning to raid any bank account left dormant for 15 years or more. Presumably on the reasoning that if you've not played with it for that long, you don't really want it. So surely it'd be more fun for him to get his sticky little fingers on instead. Think of all the jelly babies, cocaine and hookers he could afford!**
To be honest, I'm surprised he's setting the bar at 15 years. If he made it 3 he'd be able to bugger us all out of a lot more money! See: lack of planning, that's the problem with politicians these days. They want to be truly vicious, ruthless bastards, but have to settle for rampant cock-weaselry instead.
Which I'm sure we'll see out in force at tomorrow's budget. Cocks and Weasels all over the place. Running about on both sides of the house, trying to out cock and out weasel each other.
But as I say: what's the point ranting? According to the guy who worked with the Downing Street Bandito for four years, he rides roughshod over his fellow governmental willy-weasels, ignoring their opinions and hurting their feelings with his ministerial shenanigans. So what chance do the rest of us have? Mind you, as Lord Turnbull says, "You can choose whether you are impressed or depressed by that, but you cannot help admire the sheer Stalinist ruthlessness of it all."
Which is exactly the quality I'm looking for in a Prime Minister. Go team!
Mind you, the rest of them aren't much better. I get the feeling this next general election's going to be a little bit like pissing into a burning chip pan. WHOOOOOOOSH!!! Burnt privates and no pubic hair for anybody.
See: that's your quality political analysis that is.
We now return you to our regular apathy.
* And no: this time I'm not having a go at Fife, I seriously believe the man fell from the very arse of the Devil himself. Ecumenically speaking...
** I'm not actually suggesting that the Chancellor has a hooker / drug / confectionary problem, as that would be naughty. I merely use these ridiculous images to poke a bit of good-natured fun at his expense. After all, who would ever believe a politician of doing anything in the least bit morally questionable? It's just too far-fetched!
Labels: cock-weasel, rant