An unfortunate convergence of events

This May I've been invited to participate in 'Word - University of Aberdeen Writers Festival' which is nice. They snubbed me the last two years, so to make up for it they're putting on an exclusive little event with me and Al 'is that a snorkel in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?' Guthrie. This will be nice for me -- though probably not the audience -- as Al is a way, way swearier writer than I'll ever be. I could finish this post with six hundred repetitions of the word, 'fuck' and still not come close.

This means I'll be the nice, polite one. For a change. Plus I look less like a hamster than he does, and that's always a bonus.

Mind you, he is also a very clever and devious fellow, so I'll still have plenty of opportunities for making a prat of myself. Especially if my recent performance at that bloody Burns Supper is anything to go by. I may be scarred for life...

Anyway, if you're lucky enough to be in Aberdeen in May, and daft enough to want to see a bearded-twit and the Human Hamster, we'll be swearing up a storm on Saturday 12th May at 1.30pm in King's College Centre at the University of Aberdeen.

Don't say you weren't warned.

And now: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck...