Well, the New Year seems to be off to a blinding start; it’s 04:30 on a pitch-black Tuesday morning and I’m in a sodding rotten mood, sat in front of the computer instead of being curled up in my fluffy bunny PJs with matching socks and bobble hat. I can barely see the keyboard for the dark cloud lowering overhead, and for once the dark rumbling isn’t the result of too many festive sprouts.

Stuart is not a happy camper.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take it out on Logan McRae. If I’m having a shitty day, he’s about to have a much, much worse one. And as he’s fictional, he can’t sue me for being nasty to him.

Take that, Fictional People, take that in the eye with a stick!