Never read the small print.

Everyone always tells you to read every single last bit of miniscule text before you sign anything. Which is good advice, provided you can understand the tortuous, mumbling obfuscation that merrily trips from the pen of lawyers and other associated cockweasels all over the globe. But there is one place where I wonder if ignorance isn't bliss: I read the 'Possible Side Effects' on my antibiotics this morning, and now feel a lot worse than I did.

And I quote:
If the following happens, stop taking Clarithromycin and tell your doctor immediately or go to the casualty department at your nearest hospital:

Ulcerated genitals? Damn right I'm going immediately to hospital! Me, my blistered skin and swollen neck are going to break all land-speed records getting there. It's not like I can call for an ambulance anyway, what with my lips being all puffy and oozing.

Other possible side effects include:

The side effects given below are usually short lived [presumably because you drop down dead of embarrassment at your bleeding bum and pustule-covered willy] and soon disappear:

Rare side effects include:

And this stuff is supposed to make me feel better?