Yes, the rumours were true -- I did actually win the Barry Award and I have proof! A nice big plaque that arrived in the post from America the other day and here it is:
Mightily swollen is my head, and trousers! Now restaurants will have to give me the good table, no more sitting outside the gents' toilets for me, with the smell of urinal cakes and other person's farts! Now the only farts I'll have to smell when I'm eating are my own! And I could probably get the restaurant to supply some minion on minimum wage to smell them for me. Ah yes, that's power my friends!
Anyway, now that it's official, I'd like to say a big, huge, groin squeezing thank you to those lovely people at Deadly Pleasures, and everyone who voted for COLD GRANITE. You're all stars. Each and every one of you.