Finally, the days of dialup are behind me! Bwahahaha... oh God... I have to laugh, else I'll cry. BT have finally decided that my house isn't too far from the exchange after all and have fixed some bits of wire instead. House is too far from the exchange... It's not moved, has it? Baba Yaga never lived here -- bloody place doesn't sprout chicken feet and march about on its own. Not that I've noticed anyway. Well, maybe when we're asleep. And it's not as if I would have noticed us getting any further from town. My daily commute is from the kitchen to the study and it's still the same distance as it always was. Unless I start in the bedroom, in which case it's nearer. I could ask She Who Must Still Drive Into Town Every Morning In Order To Keep The Boy Rat In Carrots, Shoes, And Drugs, but she can get a bit antsy if she thinks I'm rubbing the whole 'working from home' thing in her face. Fifers, go figure.
So technically the house could be farther from the exchange than it used to be, but I seriously doubt it. So, continental drift not withstanding, the Marx Brothers style repair job is at an end and once more I have t'internet! Bwahahaha! Even if I did have to go buy a wireless router to get it to work. Which makes the speakers in the study make little popping, crackly noises. As if the voices in my head have found a way to manipulate the outside world... And as I have no way to empirically prove that they don't I suppose I'll just have to hope that talking back appeases them. Wouldn't want things to get out of hand after all.
All of which leads me in a meandering stagger to the fact that this is International Talk Like A Pirate Day! A fact I forgot as soon as I went in to do my radio interview this morning. Damn and blarst it, ye scurvy dogs! I was all set to do my Captain Pugwash impersonation too. Instead I had to tell people all about these workshop things we're doing at Fyvie Castle on Thursday and Friday. Not so much as an, "Arrrrrr!" crossed my lips. I'm so ashamed.
So to make up for it: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!