Like driving boiled nails into my eyes

I'm genuinely alarmed how much my programming has deteriorated over the last wee while. All writing and no monkey-coding make Stuart thick as two shorts. So today are been fighting with a chunk of code that should have taken me half an hour tops. I've forgotten half the syntax and my SQL is laughable. "Ha!" That's how laughable it is.

Added to this is the very real possibility that the old desktop machine is terminally ill. Not just 'feeling a bit unwell', but coughing up great livery chunks of congealed blood, and exuding a smell of sour sweat and finality. Soon it will be dead and I shall mourn. We're going to try a hard drive transplant and see if that helps. I've not been able to find a local donor, so I've bought the required organs over the internet. Yes, I know it's morally reprehensible -- somewhere in the third world a PC will be forced to hirple along missing an 80 Gig IDE hard drive -- but needs must.

But the upshot of all this excuse-making is that I'm woefully behind with revamping the website. Fingers crossed it'll be done before I'm off to Dublin, but chances are slim. Bloody anorexic if we're being honest.

In other news I'm coming to the end of my non-stop whirlwind of events, signings and interviews. Well, I say 'whirlwind', but I think a gnat's far would have more chance of ripping the roof off your house. Anyway, I'll be at the Ottakar's in Bromsgrove on June the 7th with Dastardly Mark Billingham and the inimitable Mr Christopher Brookmyre. I get the feeling that if they sit us all in a row we're going to look like the three stooges. So it should be fun.

Other than that I'm up for a Barry, which is nice. Something else for me not to win ;}#

Right -- to the code!