I hear voices...

Remember I was whinging on a couple of weeks ago about my trip to Turriff library to do an episode of Cover Stories? There I was, looking like a walking 'before' advert for nasal tampons, pouring blood all over the place while the production team and the Turriff Reading Group looked on with horror. Poor sods: imagine being confronted by a bleeding horrible crime writer?

Anyway, we didn't record any reading that day, mostly because everyone thought I was going drop dead from loss of blood at any moment, so yesterday I was booked into the BBC Scotland studios down at the old Beechgrove Garden in Aberdeen. Pretty straightforward stuff: in, do a bit of a reading go see the nose doctor for a check up. Easy.

But not if you are, like me, a moron. I looked out my reading copy of DYING LIGHT, placed it by the front door, where I'd have to step over it in order to get out of the house, and then somehow managed to completely forget the bloody thing. A fact I only discovered at 14:45, three quarters of an hour before I was due in the studio and a two hour round trip from my house. See what I mean? Moron.

My only excuse is that I've been feeling pretty rough in the head for about a week now. I can breathe through both nostrils now, but when I do it feels like my sinuses are going to explode, or implode, depending on whether I'm breathing in or out... Not much of an excuse, but I'm sticking to it. Luckily I'd bribed a friend with an ARC (or 'Bound Galley' as they're called over here) for helping me with some very dodgy research for book 3, and was able to break into his house while he was at work and thieve it back. Twit!

Now, Dawn, who's been looking after my sorry arse on the BBC's behalf was on the other end of an ISDN line from Edinburgh and after the usual 'hello' and 'how was your weekend' stuff we got down to the reading bit. Only instead of doing the bit that I've practiced, the bit I did for the kids at Elgin High School, the bit I know, Dawn wanted me to do other bits. Different bits... Oh God...

Bits with funny voices in them.

Reading one: Aberdonian.
Reading two: Edinburgh and Glaswegian (the 'finger' scene for anyone playing at home).
Reading three: DI Steel. I don't know why, but I've always avoided doing Steel when I pick a reading, but not this time. And it's been recorded for all posterity... Groan...

And worse yet, you can witness my moment of shame by tuning into Radio Scotland on Friday the 21st of April at 11:30. Or pick it up all the following week on their website.

I wonder if you'll be able to hear the blood dripping in the library segments?