Yup, it's 'listen again' time on the BBC Radio Scotland website. Right now you can point your naughty mice in this direction and hear the Cover Stories episode from Turriff Library*. The one where I was between surgeries and doing a fair impersonation of an abattoir in full swing. James has had a listen and he says:
Not the best of reviews, but don't say you've not been warned, OK? I've not heard it myself -- Real Player is refusing to download for some reason, possibly to do with sunspots, badger-oriented civil unrest, unhappy haddock, or some new variety of yogurt -- but that's probably a good thing. I always cringe when I hear myself doing pretty much anything.
I was the same when I was flirting with a career treading the boards. Some people would clap their little hands with glee when the video of whatever production was being passed round, but I dreaded it. In the end I gave up the acting lark because a friend forced me to watch myself and I just couldn't believe how fucking awful I was. Everyone else said differently, but we all know they're demented anyway. So I did hang up my thespianistical things and put away the greasepaint.
Which makes me wonder -- when I'm doing panels and talks and things, am I completely crap? Or is it one of those quantum things where the crapness is undetermined until I've witnessed it on tape? Up until then it could have been garbage or not so bad. Observing it changes the result and suddenly everyone else wakes up thinking, 'Actually, that was quite pish...'
Hmm, possibly not the best of topics to be ruminating on when I've got a launch thing coming up on Tuesday and a room of about 400 people to bore the pants off.
In unrelated news, it's now eight days till deadline. And if you'll excuse me I have to go hide in a darkened room.
* It's only going to be up for a week, so if you're reading this after Thursday the 28th of April, you've had a lucky escape.