We’re off to see the Otolaryngologist, the wonderful Otolaryngologist of Oz...

Hmm, maybe that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. But today a strange man is going to stare up my nose for a bit. I’ve never met him before, so it’s further than I’d normally go on a first date, but I want to be like all the cool kids... Hope he’ll be gentle with me*.

And I say ‘strange man’, because you’d have to be really, wouldn’t you?


“What do you want to be when you grow up, Timmy?”

Timmy claps his hands, eyes beaming with delight. “Daddy,” he says, breathless with excitement, “I want to be a Bogie Doctor!


Not exactly normal, is it?

But it’s one step closer to being able to breathe again, and I get to use my much flaunted Company Health Insurance** for once.

Now, the only thing left to decide is: do I dress prim and proper, or slutty, so he knows I’m up for it?

*Or he’ll be needing an Otolaryngologist of his own to remove my fist from his left nostril.
** With capitals, because that’s how it was pronounced when they were asking me to join INoGITCH.