Amazonian warriors of the accounting wasteland

I will now own up to my mercenary leanings: that book icon on the page (over there, the one that looks like a book) – it links to Amazon using my Amazon Associates account from which I get a small percentage of any purchase made. Whoo, money-spinner or what?

Tha answer is ‘what’.

Today’s celebration comes to you courtesy of the letters ‘WTF’, the smell of ‘Fish’, and the number ‘1’. Oh yes indeed and Lordy, for today I got my Amazon Associate report and I have finally managed to sell one whole copy of Cold Granite. Praise Amazon most high and rub bacon fat into my fuzzy buttocks (you know you want to...).

So, in six months of having that book icon up there on the blog and web site, I’ve managed to persuade one whole person to buy a copy of my book. Whoever you are, I love you. With all the fluff in my bellybutton. Which is blue today, in case you’re wondering*.

Now I’m sure you’re all desperate to know what else I’ve managed to sell, in association with that bastion of internetitude, so here we go...

ThingCash to Stuart
Books:
The Devil's Feather£0.54
Cold Granite£0.53
Dangerous Tastes: The Story£0.35
Dodgy Electrical Stuff:
Bytestor Hi-Speed 66X SD Car£1.91
Dirty DVDs:
Downfall£0.60

Isn’t that an... ODD kind of purchase profile? The most money I’ve made from plugging my book for half a year is down to one, single Hi-Speed digital data card thing.

Now one could be cynical and say that Amazon.co.uk have some ‘clarity issues’ with their ‘Associate’ accounting, or trusting and say that this is just the way the cookie crumbles. I won’t say which way I’m leaning.

It’s an odd thing, life. Sometimes it smells very strongly of fish**.

* The fluff, not the bellybutton – that’s a sort of pasty pink, but is eminently kissable.
** Especially if you’ve just boiled a halibut, or fried a haddock, or rubbed stale cod behind your ears.