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Birthdays For The Dead

Stuart MacBride lives in the North East of Scotland, where he writes gruesome crime novels and grows gruesome potatoes.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Not quite half-way there...

Well, that’s five months now that I’ve been masquerading as a full-time write-ist. Fine months down and seven to go until I go back to working for INoGITCH. Presuming there’s still a job for me to return to. No guarantees and all that.

So, looking back on the last five months – what have I achieved. Hmm... A couple of short stories, some interviews, some nice reviews, some not so nice, Harrogate, an edit or two of Dying Light and about the first third of TSA. Not exactly the whirlwind of industry I thought I’d be*.

All I have to do now, is plan, start, write and finish the third Logan book and I’m back to being an IT person again. With a regular salary. Maybe by this time next year Super Agent Phil will have lined me up another book deal, but in the time in-between, I’m really going to have to go back to work, or we’ll all be eating sawdust and pickled gravel. And the cat doesn’t like pickled gravel...

Actually, now I come to think about it, she catches a lot of mice. She usually leaves us half of every mouse she kills (the back half – I’m guessing mouse brains are the tastiest bit) and we grow potatoes. Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?

Mouse stovies! Mouse and chips! REAL bubble and squeak!**

And we’re walking.

* Can you tell I’m having difficulties getting back into TSA?
** OK, you need cabbage for that too, but it’s the thought that counts, right?


At 5:17 pm, Anonymous Jess said...

The Romans considered mouse a delicacy- stuffed with taters and maybe some dandelion greens, I'm sure they'd be perfectly lovely.

At 5:23 pm, Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

Hmm, ours tend to come pre-stuffed with squishy, half-eaten innards. Which are pretty good for making gravy, truth to be told.

At 6:17 pm, Anonymous Gail, aka Dogma said...

I'm ever so glad that I ate my lunch before visiting your blog today.

And now I'm replaying scenes from "Never Cry Wolf" with Charles Martin Smith munching mouse lunch.

I wonder if I'll be hungry in time for supper?

At 7:13 pm, Anonymous tambo said...

mmmm Mouse Souffle!

Hey, those big royalty checks will kick in someday. Right?

Then you can feast on mouse chops and mint sauce!

At 8:56 pm, Blogger Trace said...

Um... Eeeeew.

At 9:22 pm, Blogger Jennifer Jordan said...

Why are the mice never fully eaten? Our cats generally chew off the head and play with the rest.

The minute I read this post I also had the "Never Cry Wolf" scene in my head.
Mouse soup, mouse loaf, mouse stirfry, mouse cabobs, etc....

At 10:10 am, Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

I like the sound of mouse cabobs, bit of harissa and couscous - very tasty. And as it's not worth the hassle of boning mice*, crunchy too!

* I mean that in the ‘remove the bones’ sense, rather than ‘having sexual relations’. Which would be wrong.

At 1:19 pm, Anonymous tambo said...

It's only wrong if you're doing it right. ;)

But, with mice, especially dead ones... yeah, that's just wrong.

At 1:57 pm, Blogger John R. said...

The real trick is to pickle the mice raw for a few weeks, then to pick them up by the tail, lower them into your mouth and then in one quick motion suck all the flesh from them, leaving nothing but the spinal column dangling from the end of the tail.

It's like eating mouse-flavoured silk!

At 2:14 pm, Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

Mmm... you should get your own cookery programme Mr Rickards.

At 6:30 pm, Blogger Gabriele C. said...

Jess, it was dormouse. But I don't think the Romans would have been able to tell the difference what with all that garum sauce they poured over everything.

To make a good garum sauce, get some fish, put it out in the sun and let it rot. When it's nice and smelly, mesh it to a paste ....

You mean you want the complete receipe?

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