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Birthdays For The Dead

Stuart MacBride lives in the North East of Scotland, where he writes gruesome crime novels and grows gruesome potatoes.

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

A parcel from Sweden

Or so I thought* Hey, hey, Mr Postman, what you got in your sack for me? Not something I actually say to the bloke who delivers our mail, just in case he thinks I’m sexually harassing him. Today Mr Postman had a big green plastic bag, about the size of a large pillowcase, bound at the neck with cable ties. The bag said ‘Sweden Post’, the address label said ‘Stuart MacBride’ and the postman said, “It’s probably Futtrets**.” But it wasn’t. It was books.

For a minute I though it was something in from Forum – the lovely people who’re bringing Cold Granite out in Sweden next year – but as they’re only just on the translation at the moment what could it be? Oh… It’s not from Forum at all. In fact it’s not really from Sweden. It’s a consignment of Cold Granites from St Martin’s Press – including one which has been signed by the team at Minotaur. Hurrah!

I started doing this in Norway, at a fine eatery called Ylajali, where I got the lovely Ingeborg, Monica and Lasse (he’s more manly than lovely, but it’s the thought that counts) to sign a copy of the Norwegian edition for me. Then, at the launch party in Aberdeen I forced the HarperCollins all stars to do the same. And now I have US versions too.

It’s a hobby.

*You see that? That’s your dramatic tension, right there. Is I a write-ist, or what?
** Futtret, n. A weasel-like, carnivorous mammal (Mustela putorius furo) related to the polecat and often trained to hunt rabbits, or stick down one’s trousers for a bit of a laugh. Apparently Sylvester McCoy holds the world record for this (at least according to Russel he does).

7 Comments:

At 4:53 pm, Blogger Russel said...

Stuart

I was right *and* I was wrong. The world record ferret stuffing down trosuers thing came from an old issue of Your Sinclair I read as a young lad. I remember being remarkably impressed by this. So, in an effort to prove I wasn't just starting urban rumours I went in search of this interview (sadly I no longer have the original issues due to a terrible experiment with my sinclair, a keyboard, a connecting cable and a large amount of flames). I tracked it down and sadly, found this gem:

**So it's my turn. What should I ask first? How he enjoyed the role? About the game? I know! "Is it true you've got the world record for stuffing ferrets down your trousers?"

Sylvester laughs. "That came about when I did a show called An Evening With Sylvester McCoy, the Human Bomb. That's where I got the name." So Sylvester McCoy isn't his real name. I wonder whether I should ask him what it is. Being the shy and retiring person that I am, I chicken out.

"The show involved a lot of stunts and one of them was to break the world record for keeping a ferret down my trousers. It was a joke. There never was such a record."**

So, um, if there never was such a record he did, logically, break it. As the ferret stuffing *did* occur.

The full YS interview along with lots of stuff about that fantastic early 90's Doctor Who platform game Dalek Attack (actually it was bloody awful but I was, like, twelve or something) is here (just to prove I do my research) at:

http://www.arowe1.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/daleka.html

Dear God, I really need to do some real work or something, don't I?

 
At 5:30 pm, Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

Yes. Yes you do.

But I found it interesting, so that makes it all worthwhile!

 
At 5:46 pm, Blogger Russel said...

Oh, and just to answer that nagging question left by the YS interview, his real name is, rather brilliantly, Percy James Partick Kent-Smith.

 
At 6:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Russel, if it were thistles he was stuffing down his trousers rather than futtrets, his name might be Partick Thistle....I will get my coat.

Yours


Phil

 
At 10:18 am, Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

"Percy James Partick Kent-Smith"

I can see why he changed it to Sylvester McCoy.

 
At 4:21 pm, Blogger Bryon Quertermous said...

Breaking this record sounds like just the sort of think Rickards should do in between bouts of writing on the new book.

 
At 5:32 pm, Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

And drinking mescaline

 
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