Happy birthday to miaow

Well today Little Miss obtains her majority. This means she’s able to force through any bills she likes into law, providing there’s no backbench revolt (ooh, little bit of politics). In celebration of this fact she’s had coley for her tea. I went into TESCO and tried to get the lady with the lazy eye to understand that I didn’t want a bit of fish the size of the Lusitania, it was for my cat, not the entire cast of Moby Dick including the bloody whale. And while we’re at it, I don’t want the nasty grey bit either! Cut a nice bit of fish from the clean, fishy-looking end, not the bit that looks like a tramp’s used it as an underarm deodorant for the last six months. I still ended up with enough fish to feed twelve, but Madame La Peep wolfed it down good style. And then partook of cat-style sweeties as well. Why the hell do they make Felix Lickens in the shape of tiny chickens? It’s not like cats are going to look at them and go ‘Ah, right, these’ll taste of chicken then.’ No all Grendel thinks is ‘MINE! NOW! MORE!’ You could make them look like Monopoly* pieces, or your duodenum and she wouldn’t care. All she wants is a tasty savoury snack, preferably flavoured with dead animal. Anything else is just window dressing.

But we still sang ‘Happy Birthday To You’.

*Incidentally, you can now get Lord Of The Rings Monopoly… WTF is THAT all about? “Oh,” says Sauron, “You’ve landed on Minas Morgul, I’ve got three hotels there, that’ll be fifty seven pounds…”