She Who Is Mad About Horses often comes back to Casa MacBride smelling of equine leavings and clutching a copy of dubious ‘special interest’ magazines. The kind with dodgy names like ‘Horse and Hound’ and ‘Your Horse’ and other such filth. Half-naked animals done up in leather: not healthy.
And they also seem to have an unhealthy obsession with worms. There’s not an issue goes by without some short-arse on a horse smiling at the camera and telling us how he doesn’t let worms get in the way of a good show jumping performance. Which I think is a pretty brave statement to make. I know that if I had intestinal parasites I wouldn’t be advertising the fact. Nope, I’d be keeping my worms secret. First thing you’d know would be when one came a-slithering up through your plumbing, trapped you in the corner, burrowed into your flesh and infested your brain, forcing you to leave good reviews on Amazon.co.uk! Yes, with my army of secret ninja worms I would conquer the world, and all would bow before me! Bwahahahahahahaaaa…
If I had worms. Which of course I don’t.
Now, where was I? Ah, yes: titles.