I understand that my computer is probably full of tasty treats, but will you please just leave it the fuck alone? In the last two days my firewall has registered 81** attacks by whichever spotty-arsed bastard it is, squatting in his parents’ basement, clicking away with one hand and banging away with the other. Give it a rest, OK? I’m sure you’re a lovely person, and I bet you’ll loose that pesky virginity real soon (or at least by your thirty fifth birthday, when I presume you’ll still be staying with mom and dad – maybe your mates can club together and rent you a sexual partner? Blow-up ones don’t count though, OK?).
But in the meantime, go find yourself a nice porn site and stay the fuck away from my bloody computer.
And it probably doesn't help my general mood that my website seems to be screwed at the moment - hence the whole no pictures thing.
* too annoyed to do the polite asterisk thing
** actually, by the time I typed this and stuck it up on the net the count had risen to 95 attacks all from the same arse-biscuit