P45 Me!

Everyone's trying to get fired these days, first it’s David with his ‘worst employee of the month’ entry, then Alan wants to leave his magic bus and now James is jacking it all in at AGRISOP. Doesn’t anyone want to work for a living (he said with tongue firmly in cheek – which makes the words come out all mumbly, like you’ve been eating instabond adhesive)?

I, of course gave James the most hypocritical advice I possibly could: follow your dream. Ha, ha. And thrice more, ha! Like I don’t still fret the decision to go part time, let alone the looming fear of actually giving up real work all together. Not that it has always been thus, I have had some monstrously shitty jobs in the past where I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. At one place I started having this recurring dream where I would walk into the office and kill every last one of them, taking extra care to make sure no one could call the police or escape. Not healthy.

And that’s not to mention the time when the waste pipes broke on the flotel I was working on. Mmmm, big lakes of piss with jobbie islands and toilet paper reefs filling the corridors. Nothing says job satisfaction like mopping up human excrement on a floating accommodation unit in the middle of the North Sea.

But, to be perfectly frank, I’ve had worse jobs...