And this year’s Golden Biscuit goes to…

Like a lot of people I have been perusing the result of Byron and Dave’s challenge to an elite bunch of hypochondriacs, weirdoes and cross-dressers. Lots of interesting entries to the 'write a short story about something being discovered in the trunk of a car' competition, but my favourite of the bunch has to be David White’s Negative Lottery (winning a gold-flavour digestive biscuit and a coupon for free beans at any Happy Eater on the A90 – when purchasing a main meal, Saturdays and Sundays not included) a fine tale of a State Trooper’s brush with Lady Luck on the New Jersey Turnpike. Very, very slick.

Honourable mentions (and a copy of this week’s Farmer’s Gazette, with every instance of the word “Pig” crossed out and replaced with “Willy” in biro) go to He Who Shall Not Be Named for his story of romantic difficulties in the rough and tumble world of global domination, and Ray Banks for his uplifting tale of Christmas high jinks and feline-orientated shenanigans.

Winners can collect their prize(s) by sending a check for £50.00 (payable to CASH) to cover handling charges and postage*. No purchase necessary.

Congratulations to all the entrants for their fine work, and I’m really looking forward to reading next year’s batch!

*Proof of postage does not constitute proof of delivery, and neither does your cheque getting cashed. That’s probably just an accounting error and you should forget all about it…