They’ve changed the p**********y lights!

Yes, it’s now official: Aberdeen City Council have changed the Christmas lights. After years and years and years of ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas’, they’ve now gone for multicoloured things involving angels and penguins (I kid you not), you can’t really see them on the webcam, but trust me: they’re there. Trouble is, pretty though they are, I’ve got the twelve flipping days of flipping Christmas in the book. How dare ACC change the Christmas lights without consulting me! Have they no grasp of the need for verisimilitude in crime fiction? Mind you, considering the HUGE number of other things I’ve probably got wrong I suppose one more won’t hurt.

Mind you, I have to ask: would anybody really care? I could have said Union Street was lined with inflatable Arnold Schwarzeneggers that glowed in the dark and sang ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ in a squeaky falsetto. Who would have known?